A Four Year Old Has Many "Theories"

"Oh no! Look out for the old man!"

On our way to the Walmart today an old man with a cane decided to started his slow jaywalk across Platte Ave., quite a busy street, right in front of us. I slowed and changed lanes while Annelise shouts from the back, "Daddy! Daddy! Oh no! Look out for the old man!". If I had been alone the horn and perhaps a finger would have come into play. But, I was with my girl and had to take the high road, no pun intended. Seeing an opportunity to teach her about pedestrian safety I asked her "if that was a smart thing for him to do?". She replied that "sometimes old mans, their brains don't work so well". Yup. Got me. Kind of hard to argue with that.

Annelise's version of the jaywalking incident

I have to agree, they are quite stylish

Now we are in the Walmart and I am looking for shoelaces (Screw you Walmart! They should not be Holy Grail hard to find!). And out of no where Annelise tells me, "Daddy, Moxie Girlz are quite stylish." My response, "OK. That's nice. And just what are Moxie Girlz?" She informs me that they are dolls, and that "Mommy thinks they are trashy". Good to know. (And to the lady who laughed when she said it, "hope you enjoyed the free show. I'm charging next time! This kind of comedy gold does not grow on trees!").

Four year olds should not use the word STYLISH!

Doctor Annelise is in

Now it's on to the Pop Store (7-11) where Annelise sees Patty the manager out front smoking. She tells me that, "smoking is bad for you. It makes you grow a beard and turns your lungs black". Gads! I feel for Patty's future.

Annelise was in a teaching mood today and I was listening. Considered me learned.

The Teen Years Begin Early

Annelise's Pre-K teacher, Mrs. Bowers, asked me yesterday if I had read Annelise's letter to Santa. I had not but knew something was up by the devious grin she asked with. So I read it and:

click pic to embiggen

Elfs 1 - Daddy 0

Under the bus with daddy! Shouldn't this kind of thing start in her teens?

Stupid elves! I have always hated you!

1st Piano Recital

Going 2nd!  Twinkle, Twinkle!  Rock On!

The Head, the Posture and the Bow!  YES!

Way to Go Miss Annelise!  Way to Go!

Award Season!

Pretty sweet!  Annelise hasn't learned to ditch yet!

 

Keep Up the Good Work Not Getting Sick!

HHHHaaaaaarrrrrrrr!

Pirates! Dirty, rotten, scurvy pirates! We are now lousy with them!

A pirate ship, right, and a pirate with an "invisible" body

I believe it is SpongeBob's fault but I'm not really sure.

A mountain (the circle of dots are a pirate's beard);

a pirate with an eye-patch;

another pirate with a less noticeable eye-patch;

and a headless pirate.

Fairies, eagles and pirates. Am I doing this parenting thing right?

Two eye-patched pirates on a boat with a parrot on the mast.

Colorado Springs' Eagle Problem

We've go trouble, trouble that starts with T 

which rhymes with E that stands for EAGLES!

A guy came by promoting Initiative 300, to get a strong mayor instead of a city manager, and Annelise was all ears.  He left and she took the flyer and asked what it was all about and I gave her the quick explaination about city government and how it worked.  Satisfied, I thought, she went away to draw and I went to work downstairs.

 Vote against the "E" Party!

About 10 minutes later I'm on the computer and she comes knocking on the wall.  I yell, "come in", and here she is with the Strong Mayor flyer, and other literature, and tells me she is there to, "give me the information about the voting" and shows me the card.  Seems our city has a problem with "eagles attacking and carrying off people" and that we need to "vote to rescue the people" from where they have been carried off to.   According to Annelise, "The eagles are getting really grumpy and attacking people and bringing them into their (the eagle's I assume) homes."

 Thems eagles carrying off people!  People!

I agreed that this is a big problem and she said, "we all thank you for your support".

Spiderhead!

Some days, when your are just feeling a bit blue because the footy match sucked eggs, you start to wander and find that little something that brings you around:

I give you the Spiderhead!  But wait!  It gets better:

It's a lamp!  A Spiderhead lamp!  And it made me happy.  Happy until Annelise saw it and now it's her's.

God speed Spiderhead lamp.  God speed.

Tinker Bell is a Fairy

After a day filled with watching Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue, five flippin' times, Annelise went ape drawing some fairies:

Hey! It's Tinker Bell. And some "notes" from Annelise.

Those things under her head are wings. I have a dirty mind.

Notes, fairy, chaos? Remind me to ask her what this is.

Back to crayons on copy paper. Nice touch. But those wings do look a heck of a lot like...

Hey Look, Zombies (Updated).

What the?!

Sleep tight ya'll!

After speaking with Annelise the correct answer should have been "Witches".

Thank you for playing.

First Day of School

OK. A bit late, but here is Annelise on her first day of Pre-K, August 16, 2010:

My daughter rocks!

Our Family Picture

Annelise is in the upstairs right window, Mama is downstairs right, Grandpa is downstairs left and Daddy is upstairs left.

"Pretty sweet", says a proud daddy.

Watch and Learn

So Carrie is practicing piano with Annelise and asks her, "can you do that?" and Annelise responds with, "watch and learn". Bit of an ego for a 4 year old if I do say so myself.

Kid's TV, Part I

Annelise and Carrie are off at Nana'a today, so with nothing cute, evil or indifferent to say about my girl, I will use this post to review a couple of her favorite TV shows:

Sponge Bob Square Pants - Hey. It's not that bad. I thought it was going to be one of the deeper levels of Hell. And while it turned out to be not be Heaven, it is at least a comfortable 30 minutes in Purgatory.

Sponge Bob is annoying; Patrick is an idiot; Mr. Krabs is a cheap, money grubbing bastard; and Squidward is a tight-ass tool. Children will need to know how to deal with all of these types of people, so it's good to have them meet the models early. And it is just lighthearted fun for children of all ages.

Please sit on my lap Sponge Bob.

Thomas and Friends - Again, not too bad. Very mellow. Very English. Kind of screwed up when Mr. Topham Tatt (I do not recognize royal titles) says, "usefulness before cleanliness". What the? No wonder the Brits stink. Take a bath and be useful! They are not exclusive.

All in all just trains doing stuff and solving problems. Good for kids.

Caillou - I really thought he was retarded, or at least dying or something, and this was an effort to teach kids to be understanding with retarded or dying children. Nope. He is French-Canadian. DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS WATCH CAILLOU!!! Enough said.

Just like Caillou only less special.

The Wonder Pets - Uuuuggh! DIE!! DIE a thousand deaths!!! Oh God how I hate the Wonder Pets! ARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!! Give me some bleach for my eyes and a sharp needle to shove into my ear canals! NO WONDER PETS EVER!

OK. Nothing to see here. As you were.

Zombie!!!

Annelise after going to dinner on a Wednesday night.

Like any little girl Annelise enjoys the face painting. Here zombie Annelise is looking to eat a few brains. Good for her. Brains are brain food. Just don't forget to eat your veggies with that.

A father's pride

"Son you got a panty on your head."

This is my daughter and at times like this I couldn't be more proud. She is my sunshine.

Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

Yeah. Sure. Whatever. That has been Annelise's response to mundane questions for the last month or so and I think it's pretty sweet. There is true sarcasm in her voice and that makes daddy proud. My little girl has a sense of humor and a low tolerance for the stupid. Look out world.

So, yeah. Sure. Whatever. It does have a ring to it.

On the shopping list for today, LICKOLISH!

Annelise's shopping list for today:

• Licorice or Lickolish
  
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• Lickolish
• ...

She actually wrote out 15+ lines of squiggles and when I asked her what was on her list she went all in with the Lickolish. On you go Miss Annelise! A fine choice.

Chocolate Day! (or as most people call it, Wednesday).

Do your chores. Churn that butter. And maybe, just maybe, you can have chocolate!

Even though Nana could not make it down, even though she did not like it when I told her she couldn't have ice cream for breakfast and even though we forgot to bring a "friend" (a doll, or a stuffed animal, or a gray and black rubber mouse named Brownie) on our trips out of the house today, Annelise was awesome and earned back her chocolate from yesterday.

Damn I'm sweet! NOW GIVE ME SOME CHOCOLATE!

So we're at the "Pop Store", I get my Big Gulp and we go to the candy aisle and BAM! $1.09 for a regular Kit-Kat bar! One-fricking-oh-nine! No more "Pop Store" candy. Plan ahead and have the reward trip coincide with a trip to Wal*Mart.

Live and learn, from a 4 year old, I guess.

No Chocolate for You!

Sucks to be Annelise. Pitch a fit and lose your treats.

Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmmm! Mmmm! Thems chocolates sure would have been good! But you just had to pitch a fit at the library and lose your little girl Slurpee/doughnut/chocolates didn't you? Oh well, live, and hopefully learn.

Yes. It's true. Bad kids get no chocolate. Now straighten up and fly right or you'll get nothing and like it!

Candyland the Game is Such a Tease

Played Candyland with Annelise today. They give you a two turn penalty if you land on licorice. A penalty! In real life if you land on licorice (and by licorice I mean Red Vines. None of that Twizzler crap) you win. Period! What in the hell are we teaching kids?! To fear the Awesome Red Bounty? The only reason you miss a turn would be that you are too busy eatting licorice, and the game did not come with any candy (tease!), so screw you Candyland and your whacked misconceptions of "good" and "evil" candy!

Besides the playing a stupid game we also went to the "Pop Store", 7-11, where she found a penny in the parking lot and wanted to use it to buy some chocolate. She would have never known that the "Pop Store" had chocolate if the apes that shop there had lined up along the registers towards the back instead of back into the candy isle (when you line up perpendicular to the check out people have to walk through the line, which is bad, while lining up parallel causes no such issues). Well, she was OK with no chocolate. It's Monday and that's not a treat day. I told her she could choose that as her treat on Tuesday and she was quite happy, but confused that a penny just would not cut it as payment.

A Proper Line. See, No Chocolates to Tempt Little Ones.

We also took a nap, watched some Sponge Bob, ate some fruit and cheese and mailed some pictures to Grandma.

Annelise is 4 Today. So That's Only 364 of These to Go

My little girl turned 4 today. For the next year I will document my life as her father. She is awesome as a daughter. Let me at least come close to that as her dad.

I guess being a parent is also like being a robot. Pretty sweet!